I cried so i wrote

I have been truthful in my life as much as i can still when people blame saying that i am not trustworthy it makes me think why did i sacrifice my good days where i know i amn't doing anything wrong or out of limit but just left all that thinking someone wud feel bad if i live the life the way i felt and enjoy it to its fullest. Love made me weak and weaker i have always listened and did things what my love for him wanted to do, never listened to myself knowing even i cud be happy enjoying my life the way he does with no rules. I did stop him only when i feared i might lose him. I am trying my best to get your love but that doesn't mean i will continue trying leaving my self respect aside though my mind and heart is always besides you but i am not physically around you. Take me in the right way, i can plead to you to understand and trust me but i cant keep proving it so hard always. Even you do love me accept me the way i am please i cant be molded to be more introvert.

Have tried to come above your expectations by sacrificing a lot.. but still its not to fair to be blamed saying i am not truthful its all a drama that i am doing in front of you.. Its noting like what you think it hurts and i am feared even for the smallest mistake i do that i may lose just bcoz i become over careful i end doing mistake and turn to be bad infront of you.

I Love You..

But i know there is a limit to be crazy..

I am really irritating person and i understand when u react the same with me but there is a lots of difference between a gal and boy. Boys can blame gals for thousand reason but the way a gal sacrifices her way of making joy and fun knowing it is never wrong but just because she wants see her love happy and never feel bad at the same time a boy wud say its my right to enjoy the way i wanna and the i will live the way i want and a gal has to understand quietly and keep smiling.

Who says discrimination between a boy and gal has ended look into your own life u will find discrimination very nearly that we do..

Missing days and moments

We all miss our old days a lot..

Where we used to think ignoring was when there used to b a lots of cousins n frnds of our best frnds for her b'day party and were she used to get indulged with them n not turn up to u for sometime.

but now when i think abt it i jst smile and still scold her how dare u didnt turn to me.. Then the next dialogue would be "yaar hum bache the naa :( " chhod re purani baatien n remove more incidents through which she could scold me for :D... those were awesome memories.

But now as time passes in other phase there are moments where you love a person more than all your beloved and belongings and suddenly he ignores your feelings where he know you are been hurt due to something related to him and he turns up to say "hey come on dont take such small things seriously.. just chill i have more things to do than solving your senti problems" and if ur voice changes he might have started thinking "yaar not again. n say " hey dear i have got some work to be dont speak to u later" But i dont think i wud ever laugh or get a chance to scold him for this in future, wud never keep it in your memories, hope tht u never think about it.

Selfishness never had any place in our early days still at the most we would call our best friend selfish if he or she would go to play with her or his other friends.. we wud think "now he or she doesnt need me.. she is happy with her new friends n new toys n games" but all those things always happened for good he or she intorduced me to them n our gang were formed where we all r the best mates forever :D

But now in the other part of life we have stared facing the actual world where the things are like give and take or else you are a looser.. and ther would be lots os changes in life in the process of giving preferences and sacrifices but never expect it.

Have lots to write will continue it soon.....

But seriously missing my old days n wud never regret if i didnt have these new entries who had made me show the best world but never turned on to understand you most of the times...

Fear and Fantasy

In our life there comes a situation where u fear every steps that r been tken and think couple of times whether to do it or no, where dont wanna face anymore probs still we have thousands of expectation in mind or can say hopes, which is the only way to keep yourself calm for the moment just like a mom calming child and making her understand excess intake of chocolate can spoil ur teeth though the child wont like stop having even after knowing its hazard but will may understand as time goes n the teeth start decaying yet for his satisfaction to feel gud may have it hidingly but not with tht open gladness and enjoyment due to fear of going to dentist then imagining the painful treatment.

Our heart is always a kid it enjoys all the feelings, faces all the problems and bears it innocently at one part of our life (time between teenage) but then it gets wounded and got hurt many times still resist and tries go forward with the world, the only world tht we can bear and live is practical world, fantasies days have faded (the saddest thing tht i feel is this fact, i wish i shudnt have born in this generation) before we could have left most of our decisions to destiny because most of us were innocent but now we can predict our destiny but now i feel at a part now a days many a times seeing this world many experts have turned and can predict it for you (one who have experienced things in life and who have got out of the fantasy world).

MY FANTASY

My fantasy hmm people in my life that i have at present is to lead with them incase of parents i should be their pride where they dreamt to be top of world and to gain the best love from their children.. Fantasy in case of studies would be just to have a gud reputed job for a year and earn lots of money and experience which would lead me an easy MBian student life ;) no pain for mom n dad let them fulfil their dreams be young and romantic couples forever :D ;)...

Hmm my bro should get his best in his life n should b the same person who wud argue with me and then forget what had happened at the very nxt moment n then speak on new topic and fight on it :D... worlds best carrying and commanding bro cum friend.

Incase of friends hmmm wanna be their sweetest friend and never hurt them at the same time all should get married in the same week together cant bear them to go far earlier because once married all has to change and lead the life tht would keep ur prince happy :(.. Realised how much it hurts when a frnd go far :((.. Then my one more dream is to all get into media n open up an ad agency and work in the same firm where our agency would have a unique quality in all of it corner :D ;)..

In case of love and relationship hmm jst simple dont want any confusion and shouldnt led me to think before saying to some one "hey thts my guy" and "the only one which could really make me realise what am i and how good listener am i" "yeah i love him means i love him no1 can stop me here" that shud be the confidence in a relation tht i shud get :D lolz.. n here there shouldnt have any regrest but can fight, cry, smile laugh love but express everything let every moment be special and truthful, shud confess everything forgiving is my job but would only forget things if it was a mistake and not for a purpose. Wanna love some1 more than anything n amke him feel most special and luckiest and i know i can do it if he makes me feel yes he is my imperfect one n thru his love wud become a perfect and he should accept it with no fear and trust in love tht he is with me.. :).. not a bolbachan would then do anything for him and he wud b my hubby for sure ;) lets wait for him... ;) Emotions and senti appears when we fear tht we r gonna loose and tfor him u r no1 jst some1 who keeps him complete for a while :(.. but if its other way if he says dear u r the one for me whom i wud like to make my partner still not hope for it but i love u n dont wanna u to b hurted tht wud also be a fair relation where some1 wud proudly say yes he is the one who with whom i miss to spend my life but he deserved the best jst like me :)..

yeah from this i remebered guys!!! we all might b having or had a love relation but things doesnt remain same forever and people too differ u might see them as similar thts because of ur look out and stubborn thinking tht u dont want to change, change the laws of life tht u learnt ang going thru stop thinking oh my i dont wanna get this and tht still i do like this girl or boy but would never allow my heart to love her i dont wanna get betrayed or hurted if thts in mind betr become a sage than giving hopes and keeping hopes later on realising what was the life with him or her after he or she leaving ur life u wud know what they meant (a thing tht even i need to learn and realise). A promise i wudnt ever try to experiment some1 in life so betr is to jst make mistakes once or twice instead of making it a habit ;) :D

life cycle part 1

I don't know exactly what being matured is..

But i think its when u r finally able to joke about things that once broke ur heart...

I totally agree with above words and know that if its really true we who seriously possess a pure heart would pray to b matured soon... lol... because there are many to b taken granted and at the time when they need some1 its nil from all four sides... One of the worst days of your life usually takes place at late teenage i.e. 18, 19, 20.... these are mostly judgement days... its goes on for couple of year.. u feel u r kinda matured that make you take your own decision and love to live life and have pleasure for present and trust and even have faith that things cant go wrong now as in you have already seen some of bad days which is felt was one of the worst things to happen till we get caught with in not most still still the worst ones where the unemotional mates learns to flow of the sorrow through tears, egoistic fight till their best they can and to gain the one still when they loose... Most have the faith on the words that "whatsoever happens has to be good after it reaching a point of life" and will hope for the best still the patience to wait till that day are the most testing ones where we have to fight rest of the world alone in all way.... Even if u get a support or some1 special to hold on the way but they turn to be more painful where they remain our angel for few time then the experienced lovers see to it they don't be a victim of getting dumped in that mission they screw up the life of ones who were relying and blindly trusting the vision towards the world what they show but as time pass again the one who rely becomes a graduate become a smart one but never the innocent one like before and thats a part of them lost forever... And the cycle goes in this way and usually changes after tying knots still in this world fools even take up the past life lessons and apply it here hence loose the divine relation...

This post is more applicable to girls who knows whats true love but lost its meaning due to some experienced lovers... as well as... for boys who have their heart at right place who still respect the concept of true love...

just exactly what i am :)

Libra Women

Libra woman mostly has an egg oval facial shape. She has a nice
smooth skin and a good figure. She will spent so much efforts to keep
her skin clean and pretty. She can be easily allergy to cosmetic and
make up, but taken care of her face and avoid wrinkle is her hobby.
She is good at it and tend to look younger than her age.

She can be very naughty like a little boy, but yet fully 100% woman.
She looks nice in either Jean or night gown. She thinks woman is
equal to man. Sometimes she can think faster than you, but she will
not leave you far behind. She will try not to make you feel like you
are competed or defeated in any games she plays with you even she is
winning.

She is gifted with how to dress, and how to match her dress. She
likes to dress in black and wear perfume. She likes a mild flowery
scent.

In any argument, she can really argue. She can argue for hours, and
mostly win the argument. If it is not a serious argument, she could
argue and once a while give you a smile also. She will make a good
politician, because she can tell which party will win the election.

She always has a good reasons ,even she likes to contradict herself.
She can not decide what is right and wrong for her, because
everything has a good side and a bad side. Woman in other Zodiac might
not care what other people think, but Libra woman care what other
people ,or what you feel as much as her own feeling.

She can adjust to her environment very well, so at work she will be
at the ladder up. She likes team work in doing things. If you ask her
for help or advice, she will help you except if she does not like your
guts. She can change you and make you think you change by yourself
without her influence.

Good side of being with Libra woman are she never interfere with your
privacy. She will not make you loose face in front of your friends.
Even she cares about how much money she has left his her bank
account, she will never forget to let you know how much she cares for
you.

She think taken care of the house is a woman job and she can do it
well. But if you expect a Libra woman to fear you, then you are
wrong. She is a strong woman even she looks at you with that sweet
innocent pairs of baby's looks and may loose you (let you win) in a
few poker games.

If she is the one you are after, then go step by step. The best way
is using her friends introducing you to her. Do not make her feel or
treat her like a bubble head. You have to move forward toward her with
confident and secure. Show her that you are a kind , polite and a
real gentleman. Be a slow hand or else you might get smack!

http://zodiac-world.blogspot.com/2006_06_01_archive.html

try out urss too :)

Dont Stay Late in Office.....

Nice and true story Read it when you have time. Very nice story for people working late night. Richa opened her mail box and saw a new mail from new person Hi Richa, I see you every night sitting in the office till very late. Don't you have friends? Don't you feel like talking to your roommate? You should not sit very late in the office, this is a genuine advice from me. Thanks, Rahul Mehra After reading the mail, Richa was very angry on the sender. She simply deleted the mail and said to herself "who is he to give me any advice". She again got back to her work. After that night, every night Rahul would keep sending her mails and Richa would simply delete them without even reading the content of the mail. But one fine night the subject line attracted her and she had to open the mail. The subject line of the mail was "Hi Gorgeous". Hi Gorgeous, Yes today you are looking very gorgeous in this red saree. I know you don't read my mails as you don't like the advices I give you. So today I won't give you any advice, I will just say that I am love with you. You know you are very beautiful and if you take care of yourself many men will fall in love with you. I am sure someday you will also fall in love with me. And then we will go out for a date. Oh before I end the mail I must tell you that the best thing about is that smile. Or is it those intense which needs some sleep at the moment. Take care dear. Love you. Rahul Mehra. After reading the mail she was shocked. A person she had never met, never seen, never spoke to was saying that he was in love with her. She started thinking was this always in his mind. How did he get her id? Where had he seen her? Many questions like this came in her mind. Finally she thought of giving a warning and replied to his mail. Hi Rahul, I don't want to spoil your career but if you don't stop sending me mails I will raise an ASHI against you. Thanks and Regards, Richa Jain After this mail, the mails from Rahul stopped coming in Richa's inbox. She thought that finally Rahul has got scared and won't be mailing her again. After several nights, Richa was resting on her chair and her eyes closed. When she opened her eyes she saw Rahul's mail in her mailbox. Hi Gorgeous, With your closed eyes you were dreaming about me, right? Oh sorry for not sending any mails in the last few days. I was a little busy. I am sure you would have missed me a lot. One more thing before I forget I want to say that I am not scared of ASHI. An ASHI can't be a reason to stop loving you. Love you. Rahul Mehra Richa was twisting her hair and putting them behind her ears. At that moment itself another mail came from Rahul, Hi Gorgeous, Now stop playing with your hair and leave the office, it is very late. Love. Rahul Mehra Richa was shocked as to how did this person know what she was doing on her desk. She got up to check whether anyone was there in her floor but could find only empty cubicles. She thought maybe he made a wild guess and decided to leave the office before leaving she saw another mail from Rahul. Hi Richa, Searching for me??? You have started falling in love with me. J Love you. Rahul Mehra Richa was shocked and scared to hell. She simply switched off her machine and ran outside the office. In the next few days she would not open any mails sent by Rahul. One night a mail with subject line "Don't be scared of me" came to her mailbox. First she thought to ignore the mail then she thought let's see what has Rahul written this time. Hi Richa, Don't be scared of me. I can say that you are scared of me because of the way you ran out from the office the last time you read my mail. I know few minutes back you had gone to have coffee. You are thinking how I know this because I can feel you around me. Only once you also start feeling me you will know that I am near to you. Very near. Just sitting next to you. I will wait for the night when you start having the same feelings for me. Will always love you. Rahul Mehra Now Richa started thinking was Rahul really in love with her? What he was saying was it true? But how could he know so much about her? How could he say what she was doing and what not? Richa thought let's give a try and see whether Rahul is always in love with her or not. From that night she also started replying to his mail. Hi Richa, Do you feel bad if I call you gorgeous? Love you. Rahul Mehra Richa's reply: Yes Rahul. I don't like this word. You can address me as Richa, isn't it short and simple. And I love my name a lot. Thanks and Regards, Richa Jain Rahul's reply: Point noted Richa. But when I am happy, excited I would call you with some special name at that time. Tomorrow you have your certification so all the best for that. Love you. Rahul Mehra Richa was again shocked as to how does he know about her certification. She had never told him. She replied Rahul, Who is the person who is giving you details about me? I had not told you about my certification how do you know it? Thanks and regards, Richa Jain Rahul replied back to her I know it because I am in front of you. Can't you see me? Can't you feel me close to you? I also know that after 3 days you have your appraisal. Now this you have not told anyone. Just your PM knows about it. Do you think your PM will give me all these details? Love you. Rahul Mehra Richa not sure of the answer. She knew her PM would not have told Rahul all this but how did Rahul know so much about her was a mystery for her. Finally she thought she will talk to her PM, Rohan. Next day, she went to her PM's desk. "Hi Rohan. I wanted to ask you something". Rohan:- "Sure Richa. Are having any issues?" Richa:- "No. actually I wanted to know about a person named Rahul Mehra." Rohan was shocked on hearing that name. Rohan:- "How did you come across this name. Has anyone told you about him?" Richa:- "No one has said anything to me about him. Few days back he started sending me e-mails. First I ignored but then he would give such details which I did just few minutes back. He even knows my appraisal date." Rohan:- "Are you sure you got mails from Rahul Mehra only?" Richa:- "Yes very much. But why do you look shocked?" Rohan:- "Because Rahul Mehra died 2 years back. He use to sit at the same place where you are sitting. How can a dead person send mails to you." Richa was shocked. She didn't know how to react to this. Rohan:- "If you don't believe me then you can try finding his name in the telephone directory. Maybe someone told you about him and because of work stress you started imagining that he is sending you mails." Richa:- "I am not imagining anything. He has really send me a mail. I can show you in my mailbox." Rohan:- "Okay Richa I believe you but still I think you should take a break and go home." Richa was still in shock with the news she got from Rohan. She just did a search on telephone directory for a name with Rahul Mehra and page returned no records. She again checked the mail id and employee number details. She did a search many times that day by putting various combinations but the search page displayed the same message "No matches found for the given search criteria". She could not believe that someone could hack the system and send mails to her from an non-existing id. She attached the mails sent by Rahul and sent it to Rohan as a proof that she was not dreaming. On seeing the attached mails even Rohan was in shock. He came to Richa's desk. Rohan:- "I think by mistake his id has not been deleted and someone who knows about it is playing with it." Richa:- "But I checked the details on telephone directory there are no records available for this id." Rohan:- "Talk to the CCD people and see what they have to say." She called up the CCD people. They took control over her system and looked at the mail sent by Rahul Mehra. The mail was sent from the same computer whichRicha was using. The time stamp at which the mails were sent Richa had logged in. Also there was no evidence that a remote desktop connection was made or mail was sent through web mail. Even the CCD people were clueless as to how a mail has been sent from a non-existing id and from Richa's system itself. There were no viruses or torjans or any other kind of threats on Richa's system. Her anti-virus was up to date. The whole day was gone in finding a loophole as to how did Richa get such a mail in her mailbox. Richa was tierd from the day's happening and so she decided to leave early from the office that day. The next day when Richa came back, she saw a mail from Rahul Mehra. She didn't know whether she should delete that mail or read that mail. She was scared to open the mail. Somehow she gained some courage and opened the mail. The context of the mail was:- Hi Richa, Good to see that you left the office early tonight. I know Rohan told you about my death. I was also a workaholic like you. I would sit late in the office, even when no one was around me. I just being at office. I had no friends, no social life. Even on weekends I would use to come to office. I missed all the fun in my life. Even my death happened at office while I was working. My dead body was found by the house keeping guy and the security guard at the reception. I took a lot of work stress which my conscious mind could not bear that day. I ignored all the health problems I was having. And finally on that night (20. 10. 07, 11:24 PM) all these reasons became responsible for my death. Now you know why I am not scared of ASHI. But yes if I was alive then also I won't be scared of ASHI because I have really fallen in love with you but we can't be together until your death. Now the choice is yours whether you will kill yourself on your own or whether I need to do the honors. Waiting for your death. Love you always. Rahul Mehra

Some love stories have ghost in it